I’m calling time of death. My original intention for this blog has bit the big one. I think I tried to be too much of too many things, all at once. And truth be told, instead of making me happy it made me miserable. I’m not doing the greatest right now. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I just don’t seem to fit. I look around and the people I see can almost instantly fit into some sort of category, but I don’t. And I don’t think I ever really did. I was a brain and an athlete in school. I liked Dungeons and Dragons and Star Wars, and “Nerdy” things like that, but I never really fit into that category, either. And I know, I know, I shouldn’t try to classify everything into a category because nothing is ever that simple, but I don’t know how else to explain the whole “fitting in” phenomenon. I’m just not enough like anyone else to feel comfortable with them, or for them to feel comfortable around me unless I pretend to be something I’m not.
I’m tired. I need to rethink my direction in life. Maybe I was expecting too much too soon. I’m not sure. I’ll continue to try to post when I feel like I have something important to share. In the meantime it’s National Novel Writing Month and I’m turning my attention to that for now. It seems like when I have a defined task with a clear goal I do well, so that’s what I’m going for: a 50,000 word rough draft by the end of the month. Then maybe I’ll get the nerve up to actually publish, and see where that takes me.
For anyone out there who’s been listening, thanks. Thanks for being here, even if you couldn’t make yourself heard. I’ll continue to be here so check in, but I can’t promise the content will always be uplifting, just honest.